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Depression: My Journey
Both
conditions are normal and are experienced by most people in response
to painful life events. If someone close dies, for example, the
person will experience temporary depression as a part of a grieving
process. Most celebrities admit to feeling apprehensive every time
before an on-stage performance, which can be called anxiety. The
difference lies in the fact that some people feel that way without
any outside influence. Of course, many of us had hurtful pasts, but
normally the resulting depression should not linger. There is
‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ When someone receives a diagnosis
of depression or anxiety, they do not see the light. They do not
know what it is like not to be depressed. Depression has become a
way of life, part of their identity, a norm. The same can be said
about anxiety. Since clinically depressed people do not know any
better, they are actually functional members of society. They work,
attend college, get involved in relationships, have children. They
claim to be happy, to live normal lives. Only a fraction of them
seek help. Sometimes it requires an ‘awakening’, such as a suicide
attempt, a break-up; an unmanageable, incapacitating anxiety attack
that results in a loss of a job.
Believe
it or not, depression and anxiety can be conquered. It is possible
to experience true happiness, the sense of bliss, the inner peace.
I can testify to that. After suffering depression and anxiety for
years, I finally got it beat. It is an amazing feeling of freedom.
It is the feeling of lead weight lifting, the pain not being a part
of normal existence anymore. I gained the ability to enjoy sunsets,
breakfasts at a small diner, flowers, and other simple things. The
sky turned blue, the grass turned green.
The fight
was not easy. Sometimes I thought I would never get there. Now
when I feel depressed, it surprises me. I actually forgot how
devastating my depression was. I forgot about staying home, not
having friends, and trying to take my own life. I feel happier and
healthier now than when I was a teenager.
Let me share
with you what I learned through my difficult journey.
Depression and anxiety are partially chemical, partially
psychological. I personally believe in ‘doing it the easy way.’ It
is easier to correct the chemical imbalance first, and then work on
other issues such as history of childhood trauma. Also, all the
years I was trying to fix myself and eventually other people, I
found that a huge number of health problems can be blamed on just
two things: nutritional deficiencies and psychological trauma, no
matter how minor. The nutritional deficiencies make recovery from
trauma extremely difficult, and therefore should be corrected first.
Many
studies are done on the subject of depression. Antidepressant
prescription drugs flood the market. The counselors are in high
demand. Many alternatives are available as well. I would like to
inform you about some options. I will have to write an encyclopedia
to cover all possibilities, so I would like to stick with simple,
inexpensive, and readily available therapies.
First and
foremost, you have to realize that depression and anxiety come from
within. No therapist can get inside your head and ‘tighten the
loose screws.’ You are fully responsible for doing the work of
turning the screws, the therapist merely hands you the screwdriver.
One of
the turning points for me (other than a desire to get better) was
fish oil. A doctor recommended I take fish oil for acne, and it had
a ‘side effect’ of making me feel better. Fish oil contains omega-3
fatty acids. They are needed, but not made by the body. Every cell
in our bodies has a membrane, which contains and separates the cells
from each other. Cells are soft, pliable entities that change their
shape if necessary. When they are a part of an organ such as liver,
it is more difficult, but immune system cells flow freely and change
their shapes more readily. The membranes contain
receptors-structures allowing cell communication. Unlike you and
me, they cannot talk, so they ‘talk’ to each other and the outside
world through those receptors. If the membrane is too rigid, the
receptors get ‘squeezed’ and sometimes deformed, which affects ‘cell
talk.’ This is where omega-3’s come in. They wedge themselves
between other structures of cell membranes, making them pliable,
allowing the receptors to float freely within the membrane. Another
substance that has the same effect is cholesterol. No surprise that
numerous studies found low omega-3 fatty acid and cholesterol levels
among people with mental illnesses, especially depression. 1-12
From my
personal and professional experience, a person should get about
3,000mg of omega-3 fatty acids per day.13, 14 Eating fish
definitely helps. Keep in mind that most fish, especially large
ones, contain high levels of mercury-a deadly heavy metal. There
are other heavy metals as well, such as arsenic and lead. Different
species of fish have different amounts of different metals. Truly
choosing the least of all evils. Even developing countries have
contaminated fish, as the entire planet seems to be plaqued.15-19
Personally, I eat fish occasionally, so I take supplements. Most of
them contain few hundred milligrams, and you will have to take
twenty pills a day to achieve the high dose. Currently I take GNC
Double Strength Fish Body Oil, four soft gels per day. Keep in mind
that fish oil is a blood thinner, so if you start bruising easily,
decrease the dose.20-22 Most people burp it up. I find
it worth the benefits, but if you have hard time keeping them down,
take fish oil pills in the middle of the meal, so that the weight of
food keeps it down. Also, taking it with digestive enzymes,
particularly lipase, and lecithin helps with burping. Very low dose
fish oil is available in enteric coated form.23 In the
worst case scenario eat walnuts-they are rich in omega-3’s.24
If you are not taking fish oil, but rather an omega-3 supplement,
make sure to take vitamin E with it. Regular fish oil contains it,
but omega-3 capsules do not, resulting in depletion of vitamin E
from the tissues.25 Four hundred units is an average
amount, but it is another blood thinner, so keep an eye on bruising.
It is very
difficult to raise cholesterol. Low cholesterol is indicated by a
blood test below 150-160mg/dL. There are conflicting studies on
diet and cholesterol, as the levels are also affected by one’s
genes. The general agreement is that low fat diet lowers
cholesterol.26-31 Another option is coconut oil, which
normalizes cholesterol levels by either raising or lowering it.32,
33 I take it myself. Coconut oil is a fat, and its digestion
is impaired by low cholesterol, so I take digestive enzymes with
it. It should be taken in divided doses, preferably one tablespoon
2-4 times daily. Best if taken with food, it is also available in
capsules. If you have gallbladder stones-be very careful as it
might precipitate an attack.34 Gallbladder makes the bile
to digest fats, and coconut oil is a fat. Bile is made mainly of
cholesterol, so you can see how all things are connected.
Cholesterol is made by the liver-take care of your liver.35
One of the simplest things is to drink diluted lemon juice.36-38
Coconut oil and fish oil also help the liver. They are powerful
multi-tasking oils. Individuals with advanced liver damage due to
alcohol need to exercise care with fish oil supplements.39-43
Another
helpful supplement is magnesium. Nowadays, it is virtually
impossible to get enough magnesium from the diet. It comes mainly
from vegetables, but the way they are grown today depletes them of
this mineral. Magnesium makes the nervous system less excitable.
That is why it also helps with decreasing pain and blood pressure.
It also relieves constipation and muscle spasms. There is more as
magnesium participates in hundreds of reactions, but it is outside
the scope of this discussion. Magnesium will be very helpful with
anxiety, as it will help calm you down. Magnesium deficiency has
also been found in people with mental problems. Potential side
effect is diarrhea (decrease the dose as needed). Generally you
should take 300-1,000mg per day.44, 45
As most
of you already know, majority of prescriptions are targeting
serotonin receptors. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter, or ‘a spoken
word’ produced by one cell and ‘heard’ by another. Some people do
not make enough serotonin, and others have cells that do not
understand the message. Serotonin reuptake inhibitors act like a
hearing aid. So they can only help people who make serotonin.
Also, those drugs have been shown to cause people to commit suicide
among other side effects. I have tried them myself without any
success. So I would like to address the people who do not make
enough serotonin. You may be deficient in the building
materials-amino acid called tryptophan. The body converts it into
melatonin, which helps you sleep, and when you wake up, the sunlight
helps convert melatonin into serotonin. Conclusion: get some
sunlight (or artificial bright light) first thing upon awakening.
It is a simple and extremely effective approach. Also, you can take
tryptophan at night, or you can eat turkey (now you know why
everybody gets sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner-all that tryptophan
in the turkey). 46-48 Aside from sunlight, the body needs
carbohydrates for the production of serotonin-hence the cravings. I
do not advocate high carb diet, but moderate intake at the same time
as tryptophan, combined with sunlight exposure first thing in the
morning is just what the doctor ordered. Also, you can take
melatonin supplements, adjusting the dose carefully as it might be
too much if you are young. Melatonin production declines with age
in most people.49
To help
melatonin work properly, you also need vitamin B12 (aka
methylcobalamin or cyanocobalamin-its two forms). 50 B12
deficiency has been found in a wide range of health problems,
especially those involving the nervous system. It has been shown to
be safe if taken in very high doses, up to tens of milligrams
(normally sold in micrograms-there are a thousand micrograms in a
milligram). Definitely depression and lethargy have been associated
with B12 deficiency. It comes mainly from animal sources, so
vegetarians are notoriously deficient unless they take supplements.
I would suggest 1-5 mg per day for most depressed people. If you
have digestion problems, the vitamin (or any other supplement for
that matter) would not be absorbed well. Therefore, sublingual form
is the best choice. It does not taste bad, and you can think of it
as a hard candy. It is best to take B vitamins in combination; so
adding folic acid and B6 would be another step in fighting
depression. Everything is connected in the body, and frequently the
deficiency of one element is compensated by another, resulting in
its deficiency.51 Be extremely careful with B6 as its
overdose can cause permanent nervous damage! About 75 mg per day is
a low dose, but it is safe. However, B6 is needed for the
production of serotonin, so its deficiency can cause depression.
The safest approach is to measure blood levels if doses over 75 mg
per day are desired or required.52
Hormone imbalances are no question a part of depression, especially
the sex hormones. Both men and women make estrogen, progesterone,
and testosterone, but in different proportions. The imbalance of
those ratios has detrimental effects. Men and women deficient in
testosterone have been found to be depressed.53-56
Hormone testing and balancing are highly recommended, but not always
accessible and affordable. I was amazed at how much it helped me.
I was a wreck around my period (worse than other times), had no
stamina, or motivation. Over the course of hormone balancing I
halved the estrogen, doubled the testosterone, and raised
progesterone ten times from the original test. I am no longer
depressed. I put on five pounds of muscle without working out, my
acne cleared dramatically, I increased my stamina, and my heart
palpitations went away, even though I had abnormal heart readings
since I was ten years old. I have worked with a large number of
people balancing their hormones with remarkable outcomes. Anything
from erectile dysfunction, depression, diabetes, menopause to weight
loss. If you are on a birth control pill, it may actually further
imbalance your hormones, making your depression worse (however, in
some cases it may make it better). You have to be very careful with
hormones as their imbalance causes cancers.57-59 Now, the
part about cholesterol as discussed earlier: sex hormones are made
out of cholesterol, so lack of cholesterol causes hormonal
deficiencies, resulting in all kinds of problems (including cancer).
60-61 Melatonin regulates sex hormones, so its deficiency or
overproduction can create serious problems as well.62-64
There
are still more supplements you can take, but simplest solution is
usually the correct one.
After
searching for years, I found a handful of simple and quick
techniques. When I started battling my depression, the hardest part
was to force myself to do the right things. Yes, meditation,
exercise, yoga, socializing all have a great effect, but doing them
was a chore. I would start and stop exercise programs, I could only
meditate in yoga classes, and socializing was the hardest part. I
also have a mild case of attention deficit, so anything taking
longer then ten minutes was beyond my attention span. So I started
with supplements.
My next
recommended step will be getting sunlight every morning-safe and
cheap. In combination with the sunlight, do simple stretching, feel
your spine align itself, and think about something pleasant.
Smile. Even if you feel blue, smile. Studies show that physically
smiling will actually make you feel better.65, 66 Also,
find a feature that you like about yourself-your eyes, hair, your
whole body maybe, the fact that you speak two languages-anything.
Later, find more and more features as your depression and anxiety
let go. Remember-it is a multi-step process. You are going to be
like a baby learning to walk.
Once that
becomes a routine-all of one minute, you can attempt short periods
(up to 5-10 minutes) of meditation. Meditation is not thinking in
words. It is very difficult at first, but in itself it is very
rewarding. I also find it extremely energizing. I feel like a
‘recharged battery’ afterwards. Of course, there is an ultimate
goal of enlightenment, but you can learn about that from numerous
meditation books and CD’s.
Then add
exercise-five minutes at a time, mainly gentle stretching. Increase
the time and complicate the routine as you go. Studies show that
moderate exercise will increase testosterone, very heavy exercise
will lower it.67-70
Doing a
little bit is better than doing nothing. Two-minute exercise
routine will lower your depression versus no exercise at all. I
speak from knowledge and personal experience. Now smile.
The one
thing that you can do at any time is Emotional Freedom Technique.
It involves rubbing or tapping certain points on the face, hands,
and upper body. The concept comes from Eastern medicine and
involves acupuncture points. I personally found it to be extremely
effective. It takes seconds to minutes, depending on the number of
points rubbed. In some cases it provides immediate relief.
The
procedure requires that you either think about the underlying
problem or something pleasant that you want to accomplish while
tapping or rubbing the points. The website suggests the following,
“Even though [state the problem], I deeply and completely accept
myself.” I found that no particular phrase is a better choice,
however, consistency helps.
The list
of ‘spots’: where the nose and eyebrow meet, outer corner of the
eye, under the eye, between nose and lips, under lips-above the
chin, meeting point of breast and collar bones, under arm, under a
nipple, side of fingertips of thumb, index, middle fingers, and
pinky. They should feel a little sore because many nerve endings
come to meet at those points. Once you feel pain-you found it! Rub
it gently, just enough to make it ‘hurt so good’. You can do one or
several spots, rub as long or as little as you want. Find what
works for you. I found that spot under my eyes worked the best, but
for some they would not, so experiment. If you had trauma in the
past-you were molested as a child, mentally or emotionally abused by
your family, raped as an adult, you are an orphan and or grew up in
foster homes-think about those events while tapping the points. Do
not relive them to the point of retraumatizing yourself, just think
about them. Many times they actually let go.71
In
conclusion: I am nothing more that an educator. I only provide
information, which you can use to your benefit or harm. If you take
something you are not deficient in, you would very likely get
worse. Supplements are as strong as prescriptions (contrary to
popular belief), so be careful. You may be allergic to any or all
of the supplements described. Do research; educate yourself, but
most importantly-get in touch with your body. It will tell you what
it needs, it always had, but you never listened. Listen now. And
smile. Do not take any supplements without discussing them with
your doctor, especially if you are taking prescriptions, as the
interactions can be devastating.
There is light
at the end of the tunnel. You are so far down now that the only way
for you is up.
References:
McNamara RK,
Hahn CG, Jandacek R, Rider T, Tso P, Stanford KE, Richtand NM.
Selective Deficits in the Omega-3 Fatty Acid Docosahexaenoic Acid
in the Postmortem Orbitofrontal Cortex of Patients with Major
Depressive Disorder. Biol Psychiatry. 2006 Dec 21.
Osher Y,
Belmaker RH, Nemets B. Clinical
trials of PUFAs in depression: State of the art.World J Biol
Psychiatry. 2006;7(4):223-30.
Ross BM.
omega-3 Fatty acid deficiency in major depressive disorder is
caused by the interaction between diet and a genetically
determined abnormality in phospholipid metabolism. Med
Hypotheses. 2006 Oct 11; [Epub ahead of print]
Emotional Freedom Technique. 2007 Jan
11.
http://www.emofree.com/. |
